Behold, Dimitri: A guy who feels he is God’s Gift to Women, and is not afraid to make his targets keenly aware of it. He’s so sure of it, in fact, that he regards a call from him as a true privilege that only a select few women are graced with.

Now, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, and the gracious voicemail contributions from one of his would-be mates, you can hear for yourself while it’s the masses who don’t get a call from Dimitri who are truly the lucky ones:

Audio: Dimitiri calls Olga, Parts 1 and 2
Duration: 4 minutes, 27 seconds
2.1MB MP3 File.

For those who want to read along: the transcript is here.

Now, you too can go forth and leave rambling messages on women you think are hot. And get a restraining order slapped on your sorry ass in record time.