{"id":26,"date":"2004-06-17T15:07:05","date_gmt":"2004-06-17T19:07:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.scaredpoet.com\/wordpress\/?p=26"},"modified":"2004-12-08T15:46:10","modified_gmt":"2004-12-08T20:46:10","slug":"insure-your-chest-hair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/?p=26","title":{"rendered":"Insure your chest hair"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Lloyds of London has apparently been approached by some unknown celebrity to insure his chest hair.  And Lloyds <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sky.com\/skynews\/article\/0,,30000-13130296,00.html\">wrote a policy for it<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p>*jaw drop* <\/p>\n<blockquote><p>But [the policy] does not cover loss though illness or hair which simply falls out, The Daily Telegraph said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>So what DOES it cover? &#8220;Accidental&#8221; shaving? <\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Usual omissions such as loss through war, invasion or revolution are not covered.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;AIIIIYYYEEEE! I am the great Sheik Guriti al-Jazeera Blagadagoosh! I declare <em>jihad<\/em> on your chest hair!! Manly British pigs!!! Fear my Gillete Mach3 blade!!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8230;neither are hunting on horseback or hang-gliding.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I don&#8217;t even wanna know how such activities can remove your chest hair without disfiguring other things, too.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Fire-eaters are also excluded.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8230;of course.  \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Claimants must prove loss of 85% of chest hair verified by two independent experts.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Where exactly can one find &#8220;two independent experts&#8221; on chest hair loss?  What kind of fees would they charge for their expert analyses?  And how does one get certified to evaluate your chest hair?  <\/p>\n<p>Is chest-hair-loss analysis a lucrative business?  I can only imagine the dialog for that.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry sir, you are ONE chest hair folicle short of reaching our 85% threshold. &#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Wow&#8230; that&#8217;s just&#8230; stupid. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lloyds of London is offering insurance polcies for CHEST HAIR?!?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}