{"id":312,"date":"2005-03-18T00:21:53","date_gmt":"2005-03-18T05:21:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.scaredpoet.com\/wordpress\/?p=312"},"modified":"2005-03-18T00:27:40","modified_gmt":"2005-03-18T05:27:40","slug":"you-just-cant-have-it-your-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/?p=312","title":{"rendered":"(You just can&#8217;t) Have it Your Way"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;[*exasperated sigh*] You&#8217;re supposed to be here to protect me!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well what are we protecting you from?  A wrong Cheeseburger?  What, is this like a harmful cheeseburger or something?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"\/audio\/911tape_1.wma\">911tape_1.wma<\/a> (2MB Windows Media file)<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s amazing what some people consider an emergency.  How much do you want to bet this person was obliviously chauffeuring her two kids around in a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.fuh2.com\/\">Hummer H2<\/a>, to top it off?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A 911 tape in which a caller reports a&#8230; &#8220;burger emergency.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=312"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/312\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}