{"id":632,"date":"2007-10-15T17:21:48","date_gmt":"2007-10-15T21:21:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.scaredpoet.com\/wordpress\/?p=632"},"modified":"2007-10-15T17:25:53","modified_gmt":"2007-10-15T21:25:53","slug":"all-right-youre-closeted-we-get-it-already","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/?p=632","title":{"rendered":"All right, you’re closeted, we get it already!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Senator<\/a><\/p>\n

The only thing sadder in this world than an old, closeted gay right-winger is an old, closeted gay right-winger who loudly proclaims his insistence to stay<\/em> closeted.<\/p>\n

Maybe in his mind, Senator Larry Craig<\/a> really is in denial, and really wants to think he’s straight. As miserable an existence as he must live, that’s his right. But intentionally being a constant public reminder if one’s own pecadillios is NOT the way to do it.<\/p>\n

Sorry Larry, you were caught, fair and square<\/a>. You played the bathroom game<\/a> that lots of desperate, closeted old queens play, and you lost. If you refuse to accept that, fine. But we all know what you did, and your loudly protesting of that fact<\/a> isn’t convincing anyone. It’s only proving to the public what a sad, pathetic little man you really are.<\/p>\n

We would have forgotten about you, too, if you had just resigned and moved on. Maybe you could have even gone on the speaking engagement circuit or something, making quite a good living off your experiences and trashing the party you claim betrayed you. But no! You can’t leave well enough alone, can you Larry? You fessed up to the crime, and now that you can’t take it back, you’re throwing a big ol’ legal tantrum and refusing the resign<\/a>. I didn’t even want to write about you initially because you seemed like such an pitiable embarrassment, but you just wouldn’t shut up!<\/p>\n

Sorry Larry. Stiflingly conservative as we thought you were, we now know now that you were only masquerading a “moral” agenda to try to attone for your own self-loathing and guilt. Normally we’d have pity on you, but your repressive behavior to others and the public song and dance you feel is necessary are only causing us to laugh harder.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The only thing sadder in this world than an old, closeted gay right-winger is an old, closeted gay right-winger who loudly proclaims his insistence to stay closeted. Maybe in his mind, Senator Larry Craig really is in denial, and really wants to think he’s straight. As miserable an existence as he must live, that’s his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-632","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sociopolitical-rants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/632","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=632"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/632\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=632"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=632"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=632"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}