{"id":640,"date":"2007-11-30T07:46:51","date_gmt":"2007-11-30T12:46:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.scaredpoet.com\/wordpress\/?p=640"},"modified":"2007-12-02T15:54:18","modified_gmt":"2007-12-02T20:54:18","slug":"now-im-reviewing-in-portals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/?p=640","title":{"rendered":"Now I&#8217;m reviewing in Portals"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/en\/7\/7e\/Portalgame.jpg\" alt=\"Portal\" \/><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s easy to see, for anyone who has been on the Internet within the past month or so, how popular Valve&#8217;s (The) Orange Box is.  As someone who has never played Half-Life, I had some difficulty figuring out why people were so damn excited about a game whose title could be broken down to a type of fruit and a cube.  Yes, I&#8217;m well aware that Half-Life 2: Episode 2 being released with it&#8217;s previous installments included is a God-send for newcomers to the series like me, but what really had me curious was Portal.<br \/>\n<!--more--><br \/>\nFor those of you who religiously avoid most web comics about video games on the grounds of the stale jokes being too much to endure, and\/or don&#8217;t pay much attention to game reviews, Portal has been earning Valve a tremendous following of ass-kissers.  Most, if not all, reviews I have seen on the game give it a perfect score.  Others, damn close to perfect.  Why?  It&#8217;s about two to three hours worth of solving various puzzles using different elements included in the room, in order to get to the final goal: cake.  That alone, in my mind, is amazing.  Using portals to move through puzzles of increasing difficulty to get CAKE.  <\/p>\n<p>However, as the PC version has been reviewed to death and my brand new 360 is absolutely begging for some time in the spotlight, I will be taking a look at the 360 version of Valve&#8217;s little orange treasure chest.  First up is Portal, naturally.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve played both versions of Portal, PC and 360 (this will be inaccurate soon enough, once it&#8217;s released on the PS3) and I have to say I feel a little more at home with the way the controls work on the XBOX360.  I&#8217;d put money on this being because I&#8217;m far more familiar with console FPS games versus their PC counterparts.  The game handles about the same as it does on its PC counterpart, hold for a few minor glitches here and there (Example: there&#8217;s a place in test room 19 where, through proper placement of exit and entrance portals, make a turret disappear completely) but nothing unbelievably terrible (EG: you won&#8217;t suddenly find yourself to be part of a floor, wall, etc, to the best of my knowledge).  A few people have told me there&#8217;s a few differences in the Advanced Maps (the goodies you get for completing the game), but I can&#8217;t say anything for certain on that.<\/p>\n<p>Overall, I&#8217;d say that Portal certainly deserves the considerable amounts of praise its receiving.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, now for Half-Life 2 and it&#8217;s episode-y bits.  It&#8217;s necessary to keep two things in mind: I have never played a Half-Life game prior to this point and I&#8217;m not particularly good at first-person shooters which actually require some level of thought.  For instance, I&#8217;m amazing at Halo but only so far as you can get by shooting wildly at anything that moves and praying it wasn&#8217;t an ally NPC.  Digression aside, I&#8217;ll also admit I&#8217;ve only played a little bit of Half-Life 2.  Going from shooting a gun which creates portals to a gun that is best for shooting people in the face takes a bit of getting used to and, needless to say, I spent a few minutes here and there staring at the, &#8220;Haha, shit-for-brains, you&#8217;ve died again,&#8221; screen.  Would I recommend downloading the PC version on its own, even without the rest of the Orange Box?  Sure.  It&#8217;s a bit of a dumb move, seeing how the games are all available in a bundle on Steam as well (People at Valve: you can make the check out to &#8220;cash&#8221; when you see this shameless advertising of your products.  Really, I wouldn&#8217;t mind.).<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;d appreciate someone buying me a second XBOX360 and another copy of The Orange Box, so I can actually play Team Fortress.  I&#8217;ve heard wonderful things, but the major crippling point of the 360 version the lack of any means of playing multiplayer unless you have an Internet connection for it (Read as: not this particular reviewer).<\/p>\n<p>All in all, The Orange Box is definitely a worthwhile purchase.  It&#8217;s a bit pricey for the XBOX360 and I&#8217;ve heard it&#8217;s easy enough to get off of Steam for cheaper than buying it at stores, but I&#8217;d recommend considering it regardless of which means of playing it you prefer.  The sooner you get it, the sooner you can earn your cake.  Or, you know, fight off head-crabs.  Whatever floats your boat, I guess.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s easy to see, for anyone who has been on the Internet within the past month or so, how popular Valve&#8217;s (The) Orange Box is. As someone who has never played Half-Life, I had some difficulty figuring out why people were so damn excited about a game whose title could be broken down to a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[20,18,19,21],"class_list":["post-640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-penguins-column","tag-half-life-2","tag-orange-box","tag-portal","tag-cake"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/640","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=640"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/640\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=640"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=640"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=640"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}