{"id":653,"date":"2008-02-07T07:47:06","date_gmt":"2008-02-07T12:47:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.scaredpoet.com\/wordpress\/?p=653"},"modified":"2008-02-07T08:00:01","modified_gmt":"2008-02-07T13:00:01","slug":"gettin-technosexual-part-2-the-britney-meltdown-only-on-iphone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/?p=653","title":{"rendered":"Gettin’ Technosexual, Part 2: The Britney Meltdown, only on iPhone"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Britney<\/p>\n

A week ago, it was the Detroit Mayor gettin’ jiggy<\/a> on America’s text messaging airwaves. This week, it’s Britney’s boyfriend wannabes.<\/p>\n

Yes, I invoked Britney. Why, you ask, are people so stupidly obsessed with what’s going on with this ditz while there’s a war on AND an election on? Simple: Britney’s public flameouts<\/a> have become one massive, slowly and dramatically unrolling train wreck, and it’s difficult NOT to notice a trainwreck. Not to mention it’s happening to someone who was the idol of teenyboppers everywhere just a few years ago, and who guys lusted after. Until these two<\/a> douches<\/a> took it upon themselves to wreck her mind<\/a> and turned her into this blubbering, head-shaving, kid-custody-losing, umbrella-busting<\/a> mess. <\/p>\n

But I’m not interested in that, specifically. What I AM interested in is the little text-message tiff between the two douche-suitors, that the Paparazzi picked up on<\/a>, thanks to the gignormous screen on one of the douche’s very-photogenic iPhone. <\/p>\n

Recommendation: as you read the text messages<\/a>, be sure to play the iPhone theme song in the background<\/a>. Because that’s how iPhone likes it, buddy.<\/p>\n

Advice to scummy hollywood-hipster types: If you’re boffing an insane celebrity with a jealous equally-scummy agent, please make sure that your chic candy-phone is concealed from prying camera lenses when you’re exchanging NON-kissy-poo messages about who is better entitled to be a bad influence. <\/p>\n

Because drama on iPhones makes the baby Steve Jobs<\/a> cry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A week ago, it was the Detroit Mayor gettin’ jiggy on America’s text messaging airwaves. This week, it’s Britney’s boyfriend wannabes. Yes, I invoked Britney. Why, you ask, are people so stupidly obsessed with what’s going on with this ditz while there’s a war on AND an election on? Simple: Britney’s public flameouts have become […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gadgets-widgits-and-whatzits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/653","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=653"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/653\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=653"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=653"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scaredpoet.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=653"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}