Make no mistake: Texans are obsessed with size, and they’re obsessed with their sausage. And when their sausage doesn’t quite measure up any more, they get angry.
Randy Taylor is the embodiment of the Texas Size Queen. He’s clearly killed him a b’ar when he was only three, and was making his own ‘guddamn’ sausage 30 years ago. And he got angry when Sara Lee, makers of Jimmy Dean brand sausage, reduced the size of their breakfast sausage roll from 16 oz to 12 oz. So, he called their customer support line and left a message in protest:
Audio: Jimmy Sean Sausage Complaint (1 minute 59 seconds, 1.4MB MP3 file)
WARNING: Much cursing at the end. Listen with headphones!
Listen carefully, and note the caller’s description of what his family eats for breakfast. Got his point, folks? Jimmy Dean is for Southerners... to eat alongside their couple dozen eggs and T-Bone steaks every day.
After hearing Fatty McTexan here, I think 4 ounces less sausage might actually do the man’s family a bit of good.
I think this audio is also confirmation that certain people who speak on certain particular southern twang – one our Fearless Leader happens to speak in – pretty much brands you an idiot the moment you open your mouth. It’s not a stereotype. It’s just the truth.
Even more sad: The Consumerist picked up on this audio and tried to legitimize it! I’m sorry, but the call is just too idiotic to crusade for. Fatty has had enough sausage, thank you very much!
And this is why I feel the Consumerist COULD be a potentially good site if it weren’t for the fact that it finds stupid causes and rallies behind idiots more than it works in support of legitimate complaints.
