The White House was in for the corniest Thanksgiving ever, as Bush decided to make this year’s turkey pardoning an election year parody.
The speech was so horrifically bad I’m not not even going to blockquote any of it. If you must, read it here. And be sure to follow the laugh track… Bush doesn’t like it when no one laughs at his prepared jokes.
In his defense though, the whole turkey pardoning bit in itself is corny, no matter who’s in office. What do we care if the White House decided turkey wasn’t for them this year, again?
That’s right, Dubyah. Wring that bird’s neck. Pretend it’s Kerry.
On a lighter note, what the hell do they eat at the White House if they’re pardoning turkeys every Thanksgiving? I’m sorry, but if I were ever elected (and we know that’ll never happen, so don’t worry, the country is safe from me), I’d be chopping that bird up and tossin it in the oven myself. Screw pardoning, if I’m stuck in a heavily guarded house with a 4-year lease on it, on a stupid holiday with people who bore me to death, and I’m hungry, then damnit, some prime white meat Butterball better be heaped on my damn plate!