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Actually… yes I did…

Today’s forecast in Hell: Nipply!

Yes folks, the iPhone even blends.

Blendtec, a housewares company who has really latched on to YouTube as a marketing tool and has had quite a bit of success, is known for demonstrating how durable their products are. From Golf clubs to nuts and bolts, Blender Guru Tom Dickson stars in the company’s “Will It Blend?” series, and his deadpan delivery just adds to the absurd, informercial-like atmosphere to these videos.

Well, now you get to see Tom and his amazing blender render a shiny, gleaming $500 iPhone to shreds, and then pulverize the shreds into a delightfully putrid black dust. For those who love seeing expensive Apple products get destroyed, crushed and blown to bits, this video is sure to please.

Surprisingly, the poor hapless iPhone did manage to hang on inside of the blender for an amazing two seconds before its cheerful, brightly-lit screen darkened forever. But in the end, it succumbed like so many other random objects that have entered the Blendtec’s industrial-strength electric maw.

Of course, Blendtec reminds us that we really shouldn’t wantonly toss $500 electronics gear into blenders, because it could be dangerous. And if you do anyway, don’t breathe in the results.

Oh, and if you’re viewing this site on an iPhone, just launch your youTube application and search for “iPhone.” It’s right there in the results. 🙂

By the way: The blended iPhone’s remains are up for bid on eBay, and amazingly they are fetching a higher price than a fully-intact model!

Newswires are pretty much exploding this morning with rumors that a Korean venture, SK telecom is in talks to buy what only be described as a battered Sprint Nextel. With the recent JD Power poll pretty much showing that Sprint isn’t going anywhere, and with customers steadily fleeing the Nextel side of the company, it looks like management may be getting ready to bail out.

SK Telecom technically isn’t new to the US: they are investors in the wireless MVNO we know as Helio. From what Onezumi tells us, Helio isn’t all that great either. Maybe their combined suck-ness will spawn something… less sucky?

Oh, and in case you were wondering: yes, Amp’d fails at life.

UPDATE:

I just listened to the Qualcomm investor conference call (you can hear it yourself on the Qualcomm website). The ban actually applies only to new phone models manufactured after this date, not physical phones. In other words, the Blackjacks, Treos, Samsungs A920s and other current-model phones can continue to be made, imported and sold.

So bottom line: no new models until this is resolved. But current models can continue to made and sold for now.

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Well, as if the rollout of high speed data deployment in the US hasn’t been stunted enough already, the US International Trade Commission has imposed a partial ban on all 3G chipsets manufactured and imported by Qualcomm, starting today.

To most people this may not sound like a big deal, but this means that all 3G cell phones manufactured as of this date (the vast majority of which are made in South Korea or China), may longer be imported into the US. All phones currently in the US can be sold and (we assume?) used legally, but no new phones can come in.

How many phones are we talking about? Well, if you have a phone with the Verizon, Sprint, Alltel or US cellular brand on it, it has a Qualcomm chip. Yes, all phones from these carriers are Qualcomm-powered. Every last one.

Additionally, most Cingular/AT&T phones that are 3G capable also contain Qualcomm chips. Considering Verizon and AT&T have close to 60 million customers each, and Sprint isn’t far behind, the numbers really start to add up. If you own a cell phone, you’d better not break or lose it anytime soon.

Why the ban? Patent abuse, of course. Broadcom, a rival chip manufacturer whose chips can found in things like cablem modems, iPods, HDTVs and laptop and desktop computers, apparently wasn’t happy that they had to share circuit board space with Qualcomm in most cell phones. So, sued Qualcomm for patent infringement and won. While they likely have the technical expertise to make chips that do the same things as Qualcomm-branded ones, they legally cannot because Qualcomm owns most of the other patents on modern cell phone technology as we know it.

And so now, the US is experiencing the technological equivalent of a classic Mexican Standoff. Remember the Blackberry patent dispute? This situation dwarfs the nightmare scenario Blackberry users were pondering. Who knows who this will play out?

Oh, for those who care: the iPhone is a GSM/EDGE handset, and is not 3G enabled. That means it is not affected by the import ban. Sadly, those in the market for a smartphone may have no choice but to be a Steve Jobs beta tester for only $500.

Who would have thought that a mobile phone company aimed at teens, ultra-hipsters and the “Shake Your Junk” crowd wouldn’t have been able to turn a proift?

Well, everyone really, considering that many teens and junk-shakers tend to lack a reliable source of income.

Still, Amp’d Mobile felt they could make their business model work, and as it turns out, they were wrong. Amp’d has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, after about two years of selling yesterday’s phones at a loss, and wireless plans that were equally good at losing money. While news sources has tried to put a positive spin on Amp’d’s “solid subscriber growth,” the Mobile Virtual Network Operator currently serves a pithy 200,000 subscribers.

Still, Amp’d is blaming its “rapid growth” on its troubles:

As a result of our rapid growth, our back-end infrastructure was unable to keep up with customer demand. We are taking this step as a necessary and responsible action to sustain and strengthen our momentum in the market place.

At best, that description is a bit vague. Isn’t rapid growth a good thing? The only way I could see Amp’d’s (try saying that out loud) claims on this holding water is if the “infrastructure” was so poor that it prevented rapid growth from happening. Considering Amp’d is basically reselling network services and bandwidth on Verizon Wireless – who has no trouble serving its 60+ million customers – I find this description a little hard to swallow.

At any rate, Amp’d claims it will be able to continue operations in spite of its financial troubles, and eventually exit Chapter 11.