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Oh, this is not going to be pretty.

Michael Jackson’s trial has begun, and so has the circus. The first witness? Martin Bashir, the same man who made “Living With Michael Jackson,” and who Jackson says duped him into participating. Needless to say, Jacko was a little upset as Bashir entered the room.

Michael Jackson had to be calmed down Tuesday as Martin Bashir became the first prosecution witness at his child abuse trial.

On the day it was revealed the pop star will likely take the stand to defend himself, he looked close to tears.

Can you imagine what an awkward, cringe-in-your-seat moment that just had to be? To be a person in that courtroom and having to see Michael Jackson become a visibly upset, blubbering… well, whatever-he-is?

The Big Mac that spawned terrorism

I don’t get this story, really. Somehow, two men (who the news outlet decided should be made clear, are of middle eastern descent) became very dissatsified with the food quality and service at a McDonald’s. Seems they serve crappy food there, and service levels are abysmal at best due to the McJobbers who work there having minimal to no skills, earning meager wages. Hey, who knew?

The interesting thing is that these geniuses apparently felt the way to solve this problem was to threaten to blow up the Pentagon. What the hell?

“Two gentlemen made threats toward blowing up McDonald’s and also blowing up the Pentagon. By the time officials arrived, the men had already fled the scene. We immediately contacted the FBI, who is conducting the investigation at this point,” Wharton Police Department Capt. Richard Coleman said.

Maybe Ronald is a secret agent or something?

More Rockers, More Buggery

tripp

Take a gander friends, at this arrest record. Mr. Todd R Salvador or “T-Rex” as per his online identity, is also known as Tripp Eisen (pictured above), a guitarist for Static-X. What was he arrested for?

As reported by the Asbury Park Press, police in California arrested Salvador on Feb. 10 after finding him sleeping in a parked car with a girl with whom he had just had sexual intercourse, said Jon Fleischman of the Orange County Sheriff’s Department.

Salvador was charged with committing a lewd act with a child and was released after posting $100,000 bail, Fleischman said.

On Thursday (Feb. 24), Salvador was apprehended in Orange County, Calif. by two detectives from New Jersey in connection with an incident last month where he allegedly met a 14-year-old girl from Sayreville, New Jersey through the Internet, drove from Pennsylvania and sexually assaulted her in an Old Bridge shopping center. He was charged with kidnapping, aggravated sexual assault, luring to entice a minor through the Internet and endangering the welfare of a child, according to the Asbury Park Press. If convicted, he faces a maximum of 30 years in prison on the kidnapping charge alone.

Okay, rule #1: this is the era of Michael Jackson’s Big Trial TM. So, if you are a person of any public prominence whatsoever, and your sexual psychoses lean you in the predatory direction, now is the time to keep that on the down low. And rule #2: even if you can’t keep it in your pants for the sake of obeying statutory rape laws, for Christ’s sake, don’t do it in a car where everyone can see you!

The irony to this story is that the allegations claim Salvador, in meeting his victims online, concoted a story in which he claimed to be a guitarist who impersonates the real Tripp Eisen in a cover band. Seeing that there are quite a few sex crazed sickos out there making up stories about who they are to lure in their victims, he probably (correctly) assumed no one would believe him if he told the truth in the chatrooms he allegedly stalked.

AHHH!! Fred Durst in a porn?!

First, Paris Hilton’s T-Mobile Sidekick was hacked. Now the same person claiming responsibility for Paris Hilton’s social (in)graces being spewed about the ‘net claims to have done the same for Fred Durst’s mobile device. And the results aren’t pretty:

A man who claims to be the same cracker who broke into Paris Hilton’s Sidekick has done it again, this time posting a 3-minute video of rock professional Fred Durst having unprotected sex with a woman.

No, no, NO!!! Fred Durst in a grainy mobile-phone porno is NOT GOOD!!! NOT GOOD!!!