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The Economy: It’s All Your Fault

AIG

This recession is really starting to wear on me, but I guess not for the same reasons as most other people. For me, my angst is coming from the fact that most other people are getting all caught up in this Recession Mentality and clinging to it for dear life, foisting it on others and forcing this groupthink on even those who wish to disagree. It’s bringing out the worst in common society, and it’s seriously starting to piss me off.

While it’s very easy for people to shake their fists at big faceless banking companies and failing financial groups with initials for names, the behavior is all really just a continuation of overall public stupidity. We got ourselves into this mess. Yeah, you and me. The couple down the street who got into a mortgage they couldn’t possibly afford. The big spenders who loaded up the credit cards thinking they could deal with just paying the minimum due each month, forever. The individuals investors who knew from day one that any money they put out into the market could be totally wiped out, didn’t read the fine print and invested their entire savings with charlatan scheisters and yet are refusing to accept this reality and are expecting a the others to save them, while rabidly crying outrage when larger companies do the exact same thing. And the loudmouths who, after digging their own holes, are instead more willing to expend energy bellowing at the top of their lungs about how they been wronged rather than focusing on digging out of the mess they got into.

When things were good, people complained the banks weren’t pulling credit out of their asses fast enough. Now things are bad, and suddenly everyone’s a victim. And yet at the same time, everyone’s an armchair quarterback and thinks they know The Answer to get us out of this mess.

You can find really good examples of this on YouTube, the quintessential home of ignorant, pompous windbags who have nothing better to do with their time. Here’s a perfect example of a guy who Thinks He Knows Everything, but in reality brings nothing to the table, save the dialogue he parrots from cable news outlets:

Did you actually sit through all that drivel? If you did, I’m so sorry. However, I think I DID warn you…

If you see yourself being a budding YouTube star by posting similar dreck, then it’s time I let you in on something you probably don’t want to acknowledge: You, yes You, don’t know the answer to getting us out of this Recession mess. If you did, chances are, someone else would’ve already figured it out before you and done something. In fact, maybe they already are, and yet our mentality of instant gratification isn’t permitting us to accept it. But let’s face it, bub: You’re not a genius, and there’s lots of smarter people out there who are already working on this one. That’s why we elect people to handle the Big Problems for us; we presume they’re better at this than we average joes are. And if we elected an incompetent buffoon to make things worse than they already are, well, whose fault is that?

Sadly, in times like these, people absolutely refuse to face this reality. And as a result, a number of traits come out in people that I really hate. The Big Crisis becomes the Talk of the Day, and then these tired clichés start getting repeated over and over. They start in the media, denote a special level of selfnishness, ignorance and stupidity, and become these horrid, vapid catchphrases that mean absolutely nothing and contribute zlich to meaningful conversation.

Over the next couple of days, I’m going to list some of my most-hated economic clichés and mindsets. Then I’m going to cap it with what I think needs to be done. I mean after all, if everyone else has a stupid opinion, why can’t I?

This series is going to annoy some and insult others. That’s just too bad. If you share the mindsets I lambast in this series, then frankly, you’re the type of person I think needs a swift kick in the ass, more than any AIG or Merryl exec. So, get ready to bend over and take it.

Gmail Fails and the World Has a Stompy Fit

So, Gmail had a little oopsie early this morning, and was down for about 2 and a half hours. Despite the obligatory mea culpa (which actually sounds sincere, kinda), this has caused a bunch of businesses and hipsters the world over to have coniption fits.

The freak-outs included Creepy McClatchen here, who felt he could deliver the news oh-so-well via CNN’s troll-central, iReport:

Apparently, major businesses and corporations are relying on Gmail for their super-important business dealings and commerce-level communications. This even though the service is still in beta, which generally implies a certain level of non-reliability and uncertainty. I guess “in this economy” (A phrase I despise, and will write about later), the IT departments of major business concerns – assuming they still have IT departments to speak of – feel it’s worth it to cut costs and rely on Google to provide E-mail and Application support. Who knew?

Even silly little blogs and mom and pop companies I know of and have offered advice to rely on much more reliable services to provide their e-mail. Yes, they cost some money, but not that much. Especially considering the bogus “lost productivity” figures some people are caulating as a result of this two hour glitch. It seems that “in this economy,” the vogue these days is for people to calculate wildly outrageous monetary figures and apply them as losses, as if anyone will give a damn. Hey, if the government can do it, why can’t we, right? Case in point: this little righteous missive…

“Let’s count the cost: 25m users, 33% affected; average of $50 per hour lost productivity = $415m per hour economic cost…”

… and this will increase to full 113 million users as USA starts its’ day…… so looking at $2 billion per hour.

You know, I’m an important guy where I work, but if my e-mail were to go down for a couple hours, it wouldn’t cost the company I work for $100. Fact is, being as knowledgeable as I am, I have backup methods of communicating. Like, my cell phone for instance. Or another e-mail service. Or, maybe, just maybe I’d take a break from my e-mail and do actual work during a such an outage. What a novel idea for these hard economic times!

So, relax people. Having to take an extended coffee break because you can’t pretend to look busy poring over your spam isn’t going to collapse the economy any further. Really, it isn’t. And if it really caused you such horrid economic distress, maybe you can hit Google up for a refund of the money you paid in. That’ll stick it to The Man, won’t it?

Or, maybe you could stop relying on a Beta service, if your e-mail is really that life-and-death. There are plenty of pay e-mail services out there who’d love to have your business and can promise you some real uptime metrics and top reliability. But if you won’t pay for the performance, then you should quit your whining. Put up or shut up!

We’re in ur signz. Haxing ur traffic.

So, looks like someone did some hacking on some traffic signs in Texas. 😀

AUSTIN (KXAN) – Austin drivers making their morning commute were in for a surprise when two road signs on a busy stretch of road were taken over by hackers. The signs near the intersection of Lamar and Martin Luther King boulevards usually warn drivers about upcoming construction, but Monday morning they warned of “zombies ahead.”

“I thought it was pretty funny,” said University of Texas sophomore Jane Shin, who saw the signs while driving down Lamar Bouelvard with friends Sunday night. “We wondered who did it.”

25 years of being Insanely Great

Wow, the Mac is 25 years old today. The above video is of an event that arguably set the tone for computer going forward.

Two things strike me as I watch this:

1. Holy hell, computer graphics SUCKED back then!

2. Holy hell, Steve Jobs looks insanely different!

For those who want to reminisce, there’s a whole website dedicated to the personal accounts of the Apple design team. From the feature inclusions, to the story behind the Mac, to the Drama and Jerkdom that can be His Steveness.

It’s just a bunch of words!!!

Oath

So, after the minor flub that occurred during Tuesday’s taking of the Oath of Office, everyone was all a-twitter and a-blog about the implications.

If you take CNN’s point of view, Obama was the President at 12 noon, regardless of whether he took the Oath at all. Wikipedia says there’s doubt, and suggests the Constitution proper conflicts with the 20th Amendment and the Oath of Office must be taken by the incoming President “before he enter the Execution of his Office.”

No one doubts Obama took the oath. The question for a few naysayers was what the implications are that he didn’t take it exactly right. And naturally, Fox News raised the question:

“Well, again, we’re wondering here whether or not Barack Obama in fact is the president of the United States,” Chris Wallace told Fox News viewers, well over an hour after Obama had taken the oath of office today.

Fox News replayed the swearing-in moment when President Obama and Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. each bobbled the words to the constitutional oath. “They had a kind of garbled oath,” Wallace said.

“It’s just conceivable that this will end up going to the courts,” Wallace speculated.

In your dreams, Chris. You and your half dozen viewers are probaly the only ones who even care.

Well, to dispel any doubts, Justice Roberts and President Obama did a do-over:

The second oath — also administered by Roberts — took place at 7:35 p.m. Wednesday in the White House’s Map Room. Roberts asked Obama whether he was ready.

“I am, and we’re going to do it very slowly,” Obama replied.

The do-over was aimed at dispelling any confusion that might arise from Tuesday’s take — in which “faithfully” was said out of sequence — and erase any question that Obama is legally the president.

So can we put this to rest now? Over one stupid word out of place? Sorry, conservative nuts. He is our president now. Get used to it.

Oh right, they probably won’t get used to it just yet.. Because evidently, there are still some morons who think Obama forged his birth certificate.