Page 9 – scaredpoet.com

Breaking News: The News is too obscene for children

9/21/2009scaredpoet

In order to try and appease people who were all concerned about Apple approving iPhone apps with, say, porn on them or something, while still sort-of allowing such tomfoolery, Apple recently introduced an age-based ratings system for apps to restrict certain types of content from the eyes of young-uns. So, assuming you made the potentially foolish decision to give your 7-year old an iPhone, you can restrict him or her from buying and installing apps that have, say, a 9+ rating.

One wonders, however, how Apple comes to these ratings. Especially considering that certain apps seem to have ratings that just don’t jive. An example of this is the New York Times iPhone app. All this app does is deliver the news. And yet, here’s what Apple has to say about the content of the NY Times app:

NY Times App

That’s right folks: apparently, the real world is just completely unsuitable for 11 year olds. And uhm, when the hell has there EVER been nudity on the New York Times?! Let alone, of course “realistic violence.” REALLY? I’ve never really browsed the stories there to see blood and gore just leaping out from the articles. Maybe I’m just not looking hard enough.

Most importantly – and this has also been pointed out time and time again, but it bears repeating – assuming someone younger than 12 has been given an iPhone of their very own (and have I mentioned what a stupid idea this would be?), and has been blocked from getting the New York Times app, there is still absolutely nothing stopping them from opening up Safari and browsing the very same content off NY Times’ mobile web site.

So, what exactly was the point of this nonsensical rating exercise anyway?

I do realize that in the end, this whole age restrictions crap is just BS to appease overly-conversative, overprotective morons who insist that Apple should be everyone’s nanny and police the content on the App Store. But giving the New-York-freakin’-Times restricted ratings? C’mon!

And now, a silly cat gets wet.

9/19/2009scaredpoet

I have no words for this….

Normally, cats drink water from the faucet in a more gingerly manner, because they hate getting wet and will avoid the water getting on their fur in any possible way. Maybe this one’s a mutant who actually enjoys baths?

Happy Birthday, Internet!

9/3/2009scaredpoet

The Internet has just turned 40 yesterday. Did you forget to buy it a gift? >:(

The above photograph features a rudimentary concept sketch of ARPANET illustrated in 1969. By 1970, ARPANET had connected the two coasts of the United States. Three years later, the network went global.
The 1970s also ushered in e-mail and the TCP/IP communications protocols, which allowed multiple networks to connect — and formed the Internet. The ’80s gave birth to an addressing system with suffixes like “.com” and “.org” in widespread use today.

A techno-fetish goes unchecked

8/26/2009scaredpoet

I’ve come to the realization that there appear to be a number of technologists out there who are in serious need of therapy.

We sorta new this when people first started getting addicted to their Blackberries. Now it seems, we have a small but very loud and vocal segment of people who both use their iPhones and utterly hate them at the same time, and totally refuse to shut up about it!

Case in point: this Salon.com article. Is the author nuts? You decide:

Not long ago, I would have confessed, with the shame that some people feel over having had multiple spouses, that I have been the owner of multiple iPhones. As with any bad union, there is a story behind each one’s demise. My starter phone lasted for a little more than a year, until the battery got old and the phone, which had never behaved well, really began to act up. The next one wasn’t around long: I dropped it; it shattered. My third, a fussbudget sort, got a little bit damp and refused to work. Now, I am on my fourth iPhone, whose screen cracked weeks ago, and which plagues me daily with its many bugs and quirks and connectivity issues. But the thought of yet another trip to the Apple Store Genius Bar (“the Smartass Bar,” as one friend calls it) fills me with the sort of deep, skeletal exhaustion and existential dread I might feel were I told I had to attend couples counseling for a fourth go-round. I’d rather not deal with it.

The author’s neuroticism only gets worse from there. She decides the problem isn’t her expectations that technology will save her from the tedium of life, but the device itself for not living up to the salvation-capable qualities she’s placed on it.

Folks, let’s be clear about something: that phone you have in your pocket? Doesn’t matter if it’s a Palm Pre, and BlackBerry, an iPhone, a smartphone or a dumbphone. It’s just a piece of plastic, glass and metal. It’s not going to save you from your personality deficiencies. It’s not going to cure your ills. It’s just a gadget. And if it’s controlling your life and causing you tons of anguish, then guess what? Maybe it’s just a little more tech than you can handle, and it’s time to end the “relationship.”

Seriously! This “author” is blaming the device for the dysfunctional relationship she’s having with it. She’s anthropomorphized it, given it these savior qualities, clearly abuses it, and then is disappointed when it fails to meet up to the savior-like expectations she’s imbued upon it. Then refuses to acknowledge where the problem is. Yet, despite her professed hate and the numerous times she’s destroyed her little “relationship,” she still plunks down hundreds of dollars, again, and goes back for more.

If it wasn’t an inanimate object, then I’m sure we’d be seeing police cars at her place on a frequent basis, breaking the two sides up for the night, possibly even sending one side to spend a night in a cell. It’s kinda sad, really.

What’s the first step to treating an addiction? I believe it’s admitting you have a problem. Unfortunately, the author is not there yet. At the risk of depriving us all of these droll pieces of literature she writes, the author should stop spending her cash on iPhones, and start spending it on a therapist.

A blast from the past: the original iPod goes on sale again

8/20/2009scaredpoet

UPDATE: Looks like Apple either sold out of these iPods, or the page was a fluke. Either way, the page has been removed from the site, but the screenshot below remains…

Not seen on sale since 2002, Apple is bringing back refurbs of the very first iPod music player and is selling them in their online store for $129 apiece. Not really ure how they ended up back on sale after so long, but there they are, for the taking.

Note that these are the very first iPods ever released, back in the fall of 2001. That means these guys are sporting black & white passive-matrix LCD displays, mechanical buttons and scroll wheels, and a now laughably-small (by today’s standards) 5GB hard drives. There’s no video playback capability, or even photo display capability for that matter. The only color they come in is white. No capacitive touch interfaces, or compasses, or a Genius Playlist. And these guys were out there way before the notion of a music player showing cover art even existed, let alone have features like CoverFlow or VoiceOver.

Windows users also need not attempt to purchase: the original iPod was Mac-Only, and uses a firewire interface. No dock, no USB.

From a features-only standpoint, this isn’t a very good deal considering that for only $20 more you can get a brand new current-generation iPod that’s lighter, more rugged, has more storage space and can just plain do more. But then, there is a certain kitsch to having in your hands a near-mint original version of the greatest digital media player out there. I wouldn’t be too surprised if Apple’s remaining supply of them sold out quickly.